Revival/Drug list

Hey everyone- I am back. I took a little break from posting here mainly because I got to a point where I was trying to rein some of my emotions about my treatment and I felt that many of philosophical musings need more time cure before they would be fit for the printed word. I am back because my life is becoming so hectic that don't have enough to reflect, something I enjoyed about treatment. I am hoping that posting here will force me to work more things out. Also, I've come to some conclusions about how much people will actually be able to relate to my experience and since I've found that most will largely miss the mark it is easier to rely on the un-judgemental face of the void then on the human face of indifference. Depressing I know, but a man's knowledge is no bigger then his experiences, so if you can't relate, I am to some degree happy for you...

I am in the process of getting my life restarted. Much of early recovery was focused on getting physically back into some kind of shape. It's hard to get much done when you can't walk up the stairs without being tired. I also felt that post-transplant side effects were best avoided by putting myself in the best possible place physically. I think that to this aim I have largely succeeded. I am not in amazing shape but by comparison, I've come an amazing distance in the 130 some days since transplant. I've done alot of biking; almost 700 miles since I was released from the hospital. I've also done some hike and once the school year start I hope to add a light weight work to the cardio of my biking regimen. I guess that is the other big development. My graduate program, the Cincinnati-College Conservatory of Music, finally got there act together and decided my fate for next year. I'll be starting my master's this fall and am glad to be really getting a chance to move on. I think that moving across the country will force me to come to terms with the past 16 months much quicker then if I were to be staying here in Denver. I pretty much don't know a soul in Cincinnati, so it will be a clean start, to see if all this has actually taught me anything.

I have been doing a little bit of traveling of sorts. I took a little vacation to Breck/Aspen/Grand Junction which was not so much relaxing but very fun. I got to see some people that are very dear to me that have too long been absent from the scene. It was good to dip my toe into the stream of life and see that all this goes on, within and without me. I also made two stressful trips down to The Methodist Hospital in Houston to take part in a clinical trial to create a vaccine against Epstein-Barr positive Hodgkin's disease. Epstein-Barr Virus is a very common virus that cause mono, among other thing. In some people, like myself, it seems to cause lymphoma. This vaccine will hopefully teach my immune system to fight off the virus and thus help me ward off further recurrence.

As I was giving my medical history on this trip, I realized the long list of chemotherapy agents I've been given and I thought I'd recap it here...for your enjoyment?

My first regimen
ABVE-PC
Adriamycin (Aid-re-a-y-sin)
Bleomycin (blee-0-my-cin)
Vincristine (vin-chist-teen)
Etoposide (E-top-o-side)
Prednisone (pred-ne-zone)
Cyclophosphamide (sigh-clo-fos-fa-mide also call cytoxan)

Salvage Chemo
ICE
Ifosfamide (i-fos-fa-mide)
Carboplatin (car-bo-pla-tin)
Etoposide (e-top-o-side)

High Dose
BEAM
BCUN (also known as carmustine car-mus-teen)
Etopocide (e-top-o-side)
Ara-C (also called Cytarabine sigh-tare-a-been)
Melphalan (mel-fa-lan)

11 different agents in all

I think this qualifies me as a toxic waste site...